Describe your latest project.
My new book is called Magical Thinking: True Stories.

Publisher comments:
From the number-one bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry comes Augusten Burroughs's most eagerly anticipated collection yet: true stories that give voice to the thoughts that we all have but dare not mention.

A contest of wills with a deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Telemarketing revenge. A different kind of "roof work." Dating an undertaker who shows up in a minivan. This is the fabric of Augusten Burroughs's life: a collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal yet unabashedly intimate, stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places. With Magical Thinking, Augusten Burroughs goes where other memoirists fear to tread.

What fictional character would you like to date, and why?
Well, I chose a dead author instead of a fictional character because dead authors become fictional characters after a while. So, Ernest Hemingway. And I would tell him, "Ernie, you've got to listen to me. I'm from the future and I know things. After you're dead, Thomasville is going to create an entire line of home furniture based on your name. You need to stop this from happening, now. Someday, you'll be known only for your coffee tables and credenzas."

How did the last good book you read end up in your hands and why did you read it?
House by Tracy Kidder. It's a fascinating book about the complex emotional and physical process of building a house in Western Massachusetts and I read it because... I'm building a house in Western Massachusetts.

What section of the newspaper do you read first?
The first page, to see what new terror has occurred.

What makes your favorite pair of shoes better than the rest?
I have almost no interest in shoes. But I do have an answer to this question: Gucci loafers. Because not only are they incredibly comfortable, but they have tire-tread soles, so they are indestructible. You can wear them with suits, jeans, a mesh thong bathing suit if you want, I suppose. They never wear out. The $300 price horrified me at first. But since I've owned them I've gone through at least double that figure in sneakers.

What is your astrological sign? If you don't like what you were born with, what sign would you change to and why?
Scorpio. I would prefer to be something other than a bug.